I couldn't help myself recently.

I had to ask God the why question. (Through tears, disappointment and discouragement)

Knowing there is no answer - I had to ask it anyway.

But God did answer me.

He reminded me of the blind guy in John 9.

The disciples ask Jesus, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"

Jesus answered, "Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in him."

These verses made me think of my own difficulties - why is God allowing me to walk thru the valley of the shadow of death? 

Like I said to God,

I would have scheduled in some green pasture R & R for me before now,

but no,

the valley's depth seems to be ever increasing

                                                                       .....and then I read,

the blind guy was blind so God could reveal His good works,

in His good time.

So what does that mean for me?

PEACE!

TRUST!

God has got it - the difficulties.

God has got it - the way forward.

God has got it- the timing....beginning to end.

And the peace has come......even while still in the valley.

I discovered something about myself whilst standing on the Netball court.

I don't like to lose.

Although, I spent a lot of time telling myself and everyone else, I was only playing to help out....

fill the spot so a team could be formed...

and because my husband was the Sport's Centre manager and he dobbed me in!

But I really enjoyed the winning part.

At half time on the first night I told Paul to just call the funeral parlour to come and get me

....don't bother the Ambo's I'm not going to make it.  

But as you can see I pulled through and made it to the end of the match.

My back, legs, arms and just about every other part of me, was aching something chronic each week.

But I have to say by the end of the competition, I was pulling up OK for a 50 year old!  

And that tiny little part of me that wanted to give up after the first game left.

...and surprisingly the will to win was well and truly established!

The other part of Netball I really enjoyed was being part of a team

....working together and enjoying each others company each week.  

Margaret, Gina and Kylie became friends, not just the team I joined reluctantly.

Those Netball court feelings made me think about my will to win the race of faith.

Will I be like the apostle Paul and be able to say:

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  2 Timothy 4 v 7.

That's my aim!  

What about you?  

Want to be on the same team as me in this race toward eternal life?

....its not a competition though, this race is about companionship.

Last week one of the Pastors at our church finished off a series with a great message...

God is good all the time.

But is He?  

Well yes is the obvious answer.  But where do I put my what about questions?

When someone I love dies prematurely?

When Mr Right doesn't come along?

When there isn't a job in the offering?

When life just isn't settled?

When the fairness scale isn't tipped my way?

Grief and disappointment are valid emotions that make me ask my what about questions.

And again the obvious Biblical answer is, the rain falls on the just and the unjust. (Matthew 5 v 45)

But at the point of my grief and disappointment things really don't seem like God is good all the time.

But He is.

The Bible reminds me God never changes - He is the same yesterday today and forever.

The song reminds me Jesus loves me.

My past experience validates it.

As I move away from the raw point of grief or disappointment, (because life does keep going)  I have found God is good - all the time! 

So much trauma in the world makes one think - 'what's going on? Is the end drawing near?'

King David reminds us in Psalm 29 verses 10 & 11

The LORD sat enthroned at the flood,

And the LORD sits as King forever.

The LORD will give strength to His people;

The LORD will bless His people with peace.

The loss of life, livelihoods and everything that people know in places like Christchurch and Japan is a tragedy.

But God is still on His throne and will be forever.

My prayer is that His people will know strength and peace as they sort through enormity of what has happened.

So often when I ask God for things, I already have a plan on how He should answer.

Don't you?

This morning I was quite challenged by our pastor Jono.

Our eleventh hour God doesn't have to 'come good' on my expectations.

He can answer my prayers when and how He wants..... my approval isn't on the top of His check list.

If God answered my prayers my ways....how would that end?

(I haven't got a wonderful track record of being 'right' 100% of the time.....even though I wouldn't admit that anywhere else...it's just between you and me ok?)

As the Israelites stood at the edge of the Red Sea I bet they were thinking "Great!  Thanks a lot Moses!"

But we know the great God of creation opened up the Red Sea and the Israelites walked to freedom on dry ground.

I Imagine if they turned back it would be a bit like when we take our future into our own hands...and run ahead of God trying to answer our prayers our way.....and how often does that end in disaster?

Whilst the 'Red Sea' difficulties in my life might not open up the way I thought best, Jono reminded me today, that God is interested in my journey of faith and trust that led me to the Red Sea.  Where I see how God's plans work out in my life, not according to me, but according to His good purposes....because God loves me.

Meet you at the Red Sea for some prayer and lets see how life unfolds for us as we journey together towards eternal life.

Visit http://www.facebook.com/pages/Diannes-books/118314291553810 if you want to share your Red Sea, eleventh hour -  God moment.

Life is marked out by milestones isn't it?

The first of everything....

birthday

anniversary

day of school

We mark so many things as the stand out times of our lives and forget all the moments along the way.

The Pastor reminded me to day it is often the split second - moment of a decision that can change the course of our lives!

The decision to go to Cornerstone for our Josh was made relatively quickly and he has rung over the last fortnight with a mix of emotions....understandably.

Our only child left out in country NSW with a wonderful community of people...

who aren't Mum and Dad.

It's tough!

Some friends gave him a little plaque to take with him.....

Jeremiah 29 v 11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord; "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Packing it in with a cry of  'Come and get me or I'm walking home' is a split second moment that could change the course of his life forever, rob him.

He has made it through two weeks now and he loves the community, and is enjoying so much of what he is doing....

but misses us so much....

and we him.

With God's help and the prayers of the saints back home, I'm believing God will bring about His good purposes in Josh's life.  

That he will, as someone from church said, come home a man of God......with a hopeful future and a treasure trove of moments to share.

Proverbs 2 v 10 -13......

"When wisdom enters your heart,

and knowledge is pleasant to your soul,

discretion will preserve you;

understanding will keep you,

to deliver you from the way of evil,

from the man who speaks perverse things,

from those who leave the paths of uprightness,

to walk in the ways of darkness"

and for another 6 verses there is a list of things that wisdom and knowledge preserves me from

....then verse 20.....

"So you may walk in the way of goodness,

and keep to the paths of righteousness."

Oh to be this wise to walk in the way of goodness and keep to the path the Lord has set for me.

....All the time!!!!

and how do I become this wise?

The writer of Hebrews reminds me to "draw near to God" because Jesus, our great High Priest, has opened the way for me. 

"Keep me walking in the way of goodness as I draw near to you Lord!"

What a strange and wonderful land we live in....

as Dorothea Mackellar says in her iconic poem ...

I love a sunburnt country

A land of sweeping plains

Of ragged mountain ranges

Of droughts and flooding rains....

One year fire sweeps through this land stealing life and home away from some....and then the floods come.

I'm not sure whether it would be better to lose your everything to fire, where nothing is left or to have your everything ruined by the water and silt of a flood.

As I watch the news to see for myself the devastation, I want to weep with those people who only have the roof of their home now visible!

We never know what is around the next bend in the road do we?

Our hopes and dreams can be changed by fire or flood by loss....or by being thrown down a cistern.....

Ok so not many of us get thrown down a cistern but Joseph did by his jealous brothers.

(Good reminder in church last Sunday of the story of Joseph in the old Testament)

On his death bed Joseph said to his brothers...

"You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." 

Genesis 50 v 20

I'm not sure what the poor people who have lost their hopes and dreams because of the flooding rains are feeling right now.

But lets be praying for them that somehow good will come out of the ruin they are facing at this moment in time..... 

I remember when Christmas was so much fun....

The hussle of buying presents and food was Mum's responsibility. 

Think I want to be Peter Pam....not a lost girl, just not grown up at Christmas!

I have a bunch of great memories of my childhood Christmases.

Like the year I got Mr Potato Head and Katie Carrot....long before Toy Story was even thought of!  

Or the times we spent Christmas at my great aunt's 2 bedroom holiday house in Woy Woy.

Now that was fun all 10 of us squashed in, eating the seafood my grandfathers caught until we were sick of the sight of prawns and crabs!  

(even the snoring of my father, grandfather and uncle was fun, until my brother and I got into trouble from Mum for giggling at 1 o'clock in the morning)

And there was total bliss in not knowing the undercurrent of emotions running through family members.

I guess it takes another look at the very first Christmas to remind me of the great love God has for us and not want to return to those old days.

Mary, with her firstborn child and a new husband, hopes and dreams of a wonderful future, that's a picture of love isn't it?

The Heavenly Host singing praises to the new born King.

The Shepherds running to see this new born babe the angels were singing about.

The men from the East, bringing their gifts of love to worship....they weren't miserly, like I am tempted to be, they brought their best to worship this Saviour.

Yes the first Christmas reveals love.....God's planned great love for me.

Have you seen the Disney Tarzan movie?  Phill Collins produced a song called "You'll be in my Heart" which features in the movie when the 'mother gorilla' sings to Tarzan.

'.....cause you'll be in my heart from this day on, now and forevermore', the words of the chorus go.

I love the song, Celtic Woman do a wonderful rendition of it, and it somehow reminds me that I am in God's heart.  

A loving heart that is far greater than the love of an animated mother gorilla.  

A loving heart that is the same yesterday today and forevermore.

God's heart is to love me, us.

How do we respond to that love at Christmas time?

Pass it on......

My Agapanthus are all in bud!

I noticed some of my friend Jackie's Agapanthus are already blooming!

'And it's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas!'      

(Did Bing Crosby sing that song?)

Christmas can be a mine field of explosions for some.

The extravagant excess of having to make suitably priced purchases can be agonisingly painful and burdensome on finances...which can bring resentment.

Tension builds around the Christmas tree as gifts are given and received with quick dollar calculations going on inside people's heads.

And then Christmas doesn't  always have a happily ever after ending.  

Christmas movies are so popular aren't they?  

...they end happily, with lots of festive decorations, glamorously wrapped presents,  traditional foods (usually from the Northern hemisphere and you can see the snow falling outside) and everyone sitting around the table enjoying themselves. 

We love that!

We want that to be our experience!  

But what is so discouraging for me, is the real message of Christmas gets lost.

The focus is on what we haven't got or what we have to do in the hope of having that Christmas.

I've been in denial about Christmas.

But whether I ignore it or not December 25th is going to come.

So what am I to do?

I'm going to take some advice from Hebrews 12.

• I am going to lay aside the weight of not having the perfectness of the movie style Christmas.

• I am going to remember that Christmas is all about Jesus, the author and finisher of my faith not about me or movie style Christmases.

• I am going to spend the great love God has placed in my heart on those around me. 

The only thing I want to be extravagant with this year is God's love.

Which means for me I am freed from having to reach a certain dollar value for a present....

No, this year I choose to be wise and loving without spending too much, if the gift I choose with love doesn't reach the suitable amount I'm not going to fossick around to find 'something to go with it'.

Hebrews is my Paul's favourite book of the Bible....you know, with him having done the barista's course and everything....

He-Brews.....get it??  Ok comedy isn't my gift!

Anyway.....

I have been reading through Hebrews for the last few weeks and found some real gems in there.

Like Chapter 4 verse 16 "Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need".

We are a funny bunch, aren't we?

In the midst of our needs we don't really want anything other than a quick fix.  

Well, maybe it might be just me, but I suspect there are others that will agree with me.

Dwelling on this verse in my mind for a couple of days has painted a picture for me, a scene of me panicking and rushing up to the God of glory, who is sitting on His throne of grace.  

I throw myself at His feet and beg Him to fix my need.  

But instead I receive His glorious mercy, like a ray of sunshine flooding over me and then grace comes in a second flooding ray.  

Peacefully I walk away from the throne of the Most High equipped to face my need.

During my next time of need, as I come boldly to the throne of grace, I pray that I won't be panicking for a quick fix....but I will be seeking to obtain mercy and grace to equip me to face my trouble.

What about you?

What a difference a day can make!

What a difference friendship can make!

What a difference God makes when we surrender to Him!

I reckon we should all resolve to be the best friends we can be to those around us all the time.  

Holding a grudge, choosing to let someone steal your joy, makes for a bad day....a bad week....a miserable life!

And do you know what? ....Life is a choice!  I choose to Love!

The apostle Paul said in 1 Corthinans 13 v 13: And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

St Francis of Assisi said: Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words.

That's the kind of love Paul is talking about.... don't you think?

And oh how hard that kind of love is....don't you think?

Sometimes, I think,  I am right, I have been hardly done by and I deserve better than what I got.

Today after the Sunday message at church I was once again challenged to think about that Francis of Assisi and Apostle Paul type of love.

Forgiving when forgiveness hasn't been asked for. 

Letting go of things that really aren't going to matter 'when the roll is called up yonder'.

Remembering everyone around me is on 'their own journey'.

With struggles and joys that determine how they are going to respond to me.

Preach the gospel at all times and if necessary use words!

Sometimes life does seem gloomy...and we think it couldn't get much gloomier...but it does!

Well we think it does...

For the last few days I have been letting the storm clouds of life spoil everything.  

I've looked at those clouds and believed they were going to pelt down on me.  

I've been busy focussing on them and expecting the worst,  so I've  missed out on many joys.

I've still functioned, I turned up to my commitments in body but not in spirit.

Last night God did reign down on me.

Although I didn't want to accept Him ministering to me, I found in Hebrews chapter 1 the reminder of the angels being our ministering spirits, sent from God.

So I surrendered my obsession of waiting for the storm clouds to pelt me.

I confessed my unfaithfulness, my gloomy expectations and I cried a bucket load of tears....and I felt so much better!

Jesus sits at God's right hand in Heaven (Hebrews tells us He does),  He upholds all things, constantly sustaining creation, according to God's sovereign purposes.

I had thirty minutes up my sleeve before Scripture last Thursday, I was at Cronulla, so I parked at the beach and watched the waves.

It was therapeutic and refreshing.

As the waves rolled in they spoke to me of life.  

Some waves the surfers were able to catch and easily ride them in.  

Others looked like dumpers.  

Not being a surfer, I would have to say, which wave to catch seems to be a calculated guess.

Life is like that isn't it?  Sometimes we can sit 'out the back' waiting for the right wave.

One wrong choice can leave us dumped.

Pumbled, tossed and looking for something to hang onto.

Or the right choice can see us riding the wave all the way in.

Enjoyment, exhilaration and looking for someone to share it with.

Life's journey is hard sometimes.  

We can feel like the waves of life are swamping us.  I did last Thursday.

Funnily enough one of the passages of Scripture for that day was Isaiah 40 -43.

As I sat there watching the waves, I thought about God being the 'everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, the one who never faints nor grows weary'.

No matter what choices we make, whether we are being dumped or riding high because of the waves of life, He is there to hang onto and He is there to share the exhilaration with. 

I find that refreshing and therapeutic.

I learn so much at Scripture...and so do the children, especially the ones  who are the most distracted.

They are often the ones with the answers to any quiz we have...funny that!!

Anyway

We did Daniel in the Lion's den yesterday and this struck me as quite amazing.

King Darius was totally impressed with Daniel that's why he promoted him to such a high rank but what the King says each time he refers to Daniel (chapter 6) is a stand out!!!

Devastated that Daniel has to be thrown into the Lion's Den, King Darius parting words are:  Your God, whom you serve continually, He will deliver you.

After a sleepless night King Darius rushed to the den the next morning

The Bible says he called out this:  Daniel, servant of the living God, has your God, whom you serve continually been able to deliver you from the lions?

Well we know God did, but the phrase 'whom you serve continually' is what gets me.

Daniel's reputation is this....he serves God continually, no matter what the consequence or situation. 

Unlike most of the Israelites who have ended up in King Darius' kingdom because of their 'fickle' ways.  (The children at Scripture love the word fickle)

So the questions for me are...Am I fickle?  

Do I 'serve continually' the living God, no matter what?

What sort of reputation do I have in the family, work and church arena?

Daniel has given me much to think about...what about you?

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While I was shopping the other day, a man walked past me taking his dog for a drag!

The Border Collie wasn't old, he apparently just didn't want to go for 'walkies'.  So the owner was almost dragging him along.

The most outstanding thing was the owner was so calm, he just kept a steady pace, undisturbed by his dog's behaviour.

It really made me think!

It really reminded me of me.

Of God keeping a steady pace as He tries to lead me at times and I just don't want to be going where He is leading.

But unlike the dog, I can sit down and refuse to keep going.  The poor old Border Collie just had to stick with it.

I have a choice.

To willingly follow or to drag along resisting every step.

Hmmmm sure something to keep thinking about.

What do you reckon?  

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Isaiah 43 v 10 (CEV) 

"I want you to know Me, to trust Me and to understand that I alone am God".

Sometimes it is hard to trust…like wondering how God is going to answer our prayers and when. 

I guess there is a reason God’s timetable is different to ours….it helps to build our character and be content with where we are in the journey of life….argh!  If only this wasn’t so difficult eh?

So what are we to do?

I believe God wants us to enjoy today!  

Be thankful for what we do have and work out the ‘what nows’ without worrying.

Knowing God is in the business of working for good in our lives also helps us to be thankful and to trust Him....just like Isaiah reminds us that this is what God wants us to do.

I'm still in Ezra!!

Contemplating all it means to return and rebuild for the Israelites.  In chapter seven and right at the end Ezra makes this statement....

"So I was encouraged, as the hand of the Lord my was upon me...."

God withdrew His hand when the Israelites continued to disobey and dishonour Him.  

So it is quite significant that Ezra acknowledges God's hand on him as he led the Israelites back to Jerusalem.

Sometimes we feel like our prayers are not being answered and wonder 'where is God in this'.  

But He is always there.  

And honestly there are times when we are like the Israelites and turn our back on God.  

The Israelites had a very long painful journey back to God....may we learn from this!

During Scripture for the last few months we having been working through some Old Testament History.

The division of the Northern and Southern Kingdoms.  Good kings and bad kings and leading to the ultimate King...Jesus.

My bible reading challenge friend and I are reading through Ezra at the moment....which matches in perfectly for me.

Zerubbabel was hindered in his quest to rebuild the temple in Jerusalem.  Although there was a delay eventually the temple was completed.  Reminding me even our good purposes need to come under God's timetable.

The children of Israel celebrated the dedication of the house of God with joy.

Which made me think....maybe we should celebrate answer to prayer and faithfulness a little more as children of the living God.

 I think that would mean a bbq in Australia!  What do you think?

Our attitude affects others.

When I wake up I choose how my attitude will be and that is when it begins to have a ripple affect on those around me.  

Am I pleasant or grumpy?

Will I leave the sweet aroma of Christ as I go about my day?

When I'm gone what will people remember me by?

v2 "....when my heart is overwhelmed; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I."  

How often we feel overwhelmed by life's difficulties.  

I don't know about you but my thoughts scramble through a million thoughts and questions about how I am going to manage.  

When what I really need to do is staring me in the eye...like King David I need to go to God.

Our great God is able to help us through the difficulties and calm us down from being frantic about our situation.

Our strong tower, God, is our defense and refuge....particularly when we feel overwhelmed.